Joan Halifax PhD is abbot and guiding teacher of Upaya Zen Center in Santa Fe. Her book Being with Dying has sat on my bookshelf for ages and once in a while I randomly open its pages. Here’s are snippets from page 12, interspersed with questions of my own.
Mindfulness is energized by the aspiration to help others. A commitment based in the altruistic state of mind helps us to break from our strong self-attachment. The desire to serve also helps to give our practice energy and depth and makes it more tender and inclusive. . . .
How are you helping others? What could you do — in small, anonymous ways — to continue the shift from “me and mine” towards “you and yours”?
We should also be aware that unrealistic expectations can be a problem. A meditation practice is not a quick fix for long-standing mental habits that are causing suffering. Just as the body needs to be slowly stretched for greater flexibility, so does the mind need time for its training. We can’t lift heavy weights in a day if we have not conditioned the body to do so. . . .
What are your expectations regarding meditation and mindfulness? Do you feel discouraged sometimes, wondering about the merits or progress of your practice? Try entering the next occasion without expectations.
In fact, so-called trouble should be expected, because when we stop our habitual mental and physical activity and sit quietly, difficulties often become more visible. We can become even more sensitive to suffering and feel at risk for a breakdown. What is probably breaking down is the ego–our identity as a small, separate self–and the healthy part of us should welcome that.
Does any of this ring true for you? What do you want to do — or not do — in response?
With a bow of gratitude to Roshi Halifax for her life of service to all who live and die.
Halifax, Joan. (2008). Being with dying. Cultivating compassion and fearlessness in the presence of death. Boston: Shambhala.
Leave A Comment