Words of encouragement #10

This is the last installment in support of your mindfulness practice. Did some of the Words speak to you? May they continue to help cultivate your practice of mindfulness. The posts will remain on the blog so that you can retrieve them when in need for encouragement.

I’ve been working alongside you and would like to briefly share my experience of resolving a sticky situation with the help of someone’s words of encouragement.

For a few months I’d been stressing about aspects of an intimate relationship. I’d become convinced — erroneously, it turned out — that the rose garden I’d felt entitled to had become a field of prickly gorse. Here I was, seasoned meditation teacher, humbled by the Four Noble Truths taught by the Buddha 2600 years ago —

    1. Suffering comes in many forms; pleasure does not last 
    2. Suffering arises from desires, delusions, and the mistaken belief that there is an independent “I“ 
    3. Suffering is temporary: our enlightened nature is always present 
    4. Living ethically opens the Middle Way toward liberation from the cycle of suffering

How many times had I expounded these truths, saying that to overcome suffering, one needs to name wishful thinking for what it is. Determined to investigate the causes of my suffering, I turned to the very person I’d blamed to be its cause. Our conversation soon revealed what I’d suspected all along: that this suffering was self-inflicted. Next  I sought guidance from a distant Zen teacher whose words had helped me before. Ezra Bayda writes [1]:

The first question — Am I truly happy right now? — can help us identify how we’re actually feeling, because often we don’t know. The second question — What blocks happiness? — can specifically clarify where we are acting from fear, such as the fear of being judged as unworthy [and, for me, of being abandoned]. The third question — Can I surrender to what is? — helps us welcome the experience of anxiety, reminding us to breathe the physical sensations of anxiety right into the center of the chest.

Based on the fundamental principle that awareness heals, the experience of anxiety becomes much less solid as we learn to welcome it and rest in it. Again, we are not trying to change the experience or to get rid of the anxiety; we are simply welcoming it and letting be there, just as it is.

Ahh! “Welcome everything — push away nothing.” A deep bow of gratitude to my parents, teachers, and loved ones.


* According to Wictionary.org, Hoist with his own petard is a Shakespearean idiom from Hamlet, meaning “to cause the bomb maker to be blown up with his own bomb”. A petard is a small bomb used for blowing up gates and walls when breaching fortifications. It is of French origin and dates back to the 16th century. [1] Bayda, Ezra. (2011). Beyond happiness; The Zen way to true contentment. Shambhala, p. 131. Image: Une fleur by Pablo Picasso.

2018-09-17T18:05:55-07:00April 16th, 2018|8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. Susan 16 April 2018 at 12:31 - Reply

    Good day Peter. In the two weeks since I first started following your Blog Post I have absolutely been encouraged that there is a way out of the torments of suffering. Thanks to you and those who are generous enough to share their experiences and insights, I have begun to endeavor into a mindfulness practice.Today, I am excited to continue the journey seeking truth, and learning how to breath and accept it, moving past fear and old hurts that are making me sick.

  2. Pwnny 16 April 2018 at 21:49 - Reply

    Greetings and gratitude, Peter! Your sharing from the heart is always timeous and immensely valuable in reigniting the awareness I forget from moment to moment. Such an honour to share this path. Gratitude, gratutude, gratitude for keeping us tuned in to these noble truths.

  3. Arnie 16 April 2018 at 23:11 - Reply

    What were you doing walking around with a petard?🤣🕉❤️

  4. Anon. 17 April 2018 at 04:57 - Reply

    Gosh, talking about it. What a concept. Well done.

  5. Joan 18 April 2018 at 18:59 - Reply

    Your April 16 blog particularly resonated with me. Thank you, Peter, for sharing your personal perspectives with us and for encouraging us along the way.

  6. Melanie 21 April 2018 at 21:35 - Reply

    As always, your words are my comfort, especially now in my time of mourning. Thank you Peter for being there for not only myself but also for my dear friend Susan. You have always been cherished, loved and a blessing.

  7. Maryna Marchuk 17 May 2018 at 16:05 - Reply

    Good morning, Peter,
    Thank you for your encouraging words about investigating the causes of suffering. I am taking care about my body, heart, mind and spirit now. And I lack some knowledge.

    Could you recommend a book to where I can find definitions of words like forgiveness, benevolence, compassion, suffering in a mindful meditation tradition? What is a book to start with? I’m trying words in and out as you telling in your loving kindness meditation series. And I’m surprised that after 200 times of listening to those recording there are new words I would like to pay attention to 🙂 Thank you for your loving kindness !

  8. Peter 23 May 2018 at 04:23 - Reply

    Maryna, there’s one book I keep returning to whenever i need a refresher on the BASICS you mention: by Thich Nhat Hanh (1998), “The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberation.” A popular text that’s been around for 20 years — look for it in your public library or 2nd hand bookstore.

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