Two men in a café, getting ready to leave.
I enjoyed our chat, said one, too bad it couldn’t be for longer.
How wonderful that we had this time together, the other replied.
Good catch, they both realized, how quick the mind goes to what’s missing even before the moment of joy has even registered. Mindfulness is about experiencing the moment with an attitude of openness and freshness to all and every experience.
It is said that there came a time when Siddhārtha Gautama (the one who became known as Buddha) sat down under a tree and vowed not to rise from his seat until he’d fully understood the clinging and craving that causes human suffering.
“Deep down, the story suggests, the Buddha had unfinished business, even at the very brink of enlightenment. He was still missing something in himself, still grappling with issues of self-esteem, still trying to understand his delicate nature, still suffering from … unworthiness,” writes Mark Epstein.
I asked my long-time Zen teacher whether I should perhaps go on retreat at another centre, with another teacher? — to shake me up a bit, as I put it, thinking I might be getting lazy. You do not need shaking up, he replied, but learning to even more deeply appreciate the wonderful being whose life you inhabit.
Epstein, M. (2013). The trauma of everyday life. Penguin Press, p. 188.
Thank you for this Peter. Have had a fun week with family and meeting newest granddaughter in CT. Now begins the road trip back to Victoria.
Lately, I have watched my thoughts do their self-deprecating and critical dance, almost as if to make sure I did not feel content with just going about my day. Hard to describe – thoughts about how I could have done this or that better or why haven’t I yet accomplished this or that and then finding faults from the past and then thinking about how others might see me. It is as if my thoughts are trying to “shake me up” (I quote Peter’s comments here). I find that by not voicing my fears of inadequacy, etc. ,by just keeping up with my daily activities, I am able to let that noisy parade go by and allow myself some peace. I think you teacher is very wise to say that we need to appreciate this being in this life. How compassionate.
dear mary,
thoughts are just thoughts, they’re not the truth. Your truth resides beyond all “self-deprecating” restrictions, since before you were born, even “before your mother was born,” as the ancient teachers put it. It resides in your self-less caring for others, in your hands and heart, in each breath.
May you be free from fear.